DECEMBER 11, 2008 | 1:14am
700th entry on livejournal, I just noticed.

And yet I still fail at this now. Ha.

But enough about me, how YOU doin'?


MARCH 13, 2008 | 9:44pm
All right, so I’m watching some addicts on MTV act like idiots for "True Life", and I’ve seen the commercial for I Am Legend proooobably 5 times.


Let me explain it this way, this is an actual scene ripped from the movie, which pretty much sums up the entire atmosphere of the film:

And this new trailer/commercial makes it look like this:

Now, don’t get me wrong, I loved I Am Legend, I loved the book too, which, others who read my blog, should know. The movie drowns you in the solitary atmosphere that is his life. Along with this, there are long parts with no speaking, no action, and needless to say, NONSTOP EXPLOSIONS. However, though it might be hard to believe, the movie is tense.

But, of course, to market it to all the dumbasses who will be complaining to me later about the movie, we have to make a trailer that’s filled to the brim with OMGFUCKINGACTIONYESROCKON. Now I’m going to have to listen to a bunch of unappreciative bastards talking about how "boring" the movie was.


And if anyone’s seen the film, let’s talk.


MARCH 3, 2008 | 8:36pm
"Come, Boy, come and climb up my trunk and swing from my branches and eat apples and play in my shade and be happy"

"I am too big to climb and play", said the boy.
"I want to buy things and have fun.
I want some money.
Can you give me some money?"
"I'm sorry," said the tree,
"but I have no money, I have only leaves and apples.
Take my apples, Boy, and sell them in the city.
Then you will have money and you will be happy."

And so the boy climbed up the tree
 and gathered her apples
 and carried them away.

And the tree was happy.

So I'm sure we've all read the story. I remember when I first read the story in fifth grade. I didn't understand why the teacher thought it was such an important book, and why she thought we should think deeper about the meaning. I just thought it sad.

Later in life, when I was going through my "teen angst" phase, I just thought the book was sad and represented how no one appreciates people who are willing to give. Of course, this involved lots of feelings of self-pity for myself, but hey, isn't that part of angst?

Tonight, I picked up the book for the little one, my seven-year-old stepson, to read. Every Tuesday we head to the library after school but before my night classes, and pick out books. Last Tuesday I saw this book and automatically grabbed it without thinking. Like I said, I picked it up tonight at bedtime for us to read before he snuggled in for the night. Once I came to this passage, I felt tears well up in my eyes, because I realized that the story was about true, unconditional love, and possibly up for interpretation, but a mother's love.

It's so weird that I had never realized it before, never thought of it. It's just a big sign to me that I am apparently growing up, and more things are becoming aware to me. And hey, here's some more emo for ya: It seems Life is still blossoming and uncurling petals open one at a time, still even though I feel as if I'm closing in on it's peak.

...or maybe it's because I'm over-emotional and premenstral. Probably.

If you haven't read the book in a while, I urge you just to pick it up and give it a glance-through. There are versions of it on the web as well, if you'd like.


FEBRUARY 29, 2008 | 12:23am
I actually miss LJ.

And that is odd to me, somehow.


DECEMBER 4, 2007 | 10:46pm
This is a long blog about love, and the concepts of love. I do appreciate anyone reading, as I do believe I have some good things to say and some good advice to share.

I recently visited Texas to help celebrate my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary. They were thrown a lovely party, and I surprised them by showing up when I had assured them I wasn't going to be able to come. I have to say that the look on my grandmother's face when she realized that it was me walking to the door was amazingly priceless. She kept hugging me over and over throughout the day and telling everyone about how her big surprise that day was me showing up from North Carolina.

I loved that she was so happy. I know, of course she's going to be happy to see me, but I could just tell that she was overjoyed. I can't really describe how happy it made me just to hear and see her reaction(s); only because it made her just so happy.

When it came to toast time, there were three different people who made toasts, mostly people I didn't recognize or maybe should have recognized, about what wonderful people my Nana and Papa are. I wanted to make a toast, but I kept telling myself "No, you are just going to cry and make a fool out of yourself. What do you have to say that is important anyway?" but I realized in the middle of an awkward silence after a toast that this moment would never come again, and so what if I got over-emotional? It was simply tears of joy and happiness and sheer gratefulness.

So I stood, and I first apologized for beginning to cry before I even said a word. I explained that I admire my grandparents more every day. That 50 years together is a feat that many people can't accomplish or are not able to accomplish. And then I went to say that what they have, a home, a family, good friends, a life together, is what I've always wanted from life. Who they are right now is who I want to be. It's who I've always wanted to be, since I can remember thinking the thoughts of what life will hold for me. I desire an open home to any one who needs it, covered in pictures of family and friends from past and present, and family (sons, daughters, cousins, grandchildren, and pets) roaming from room to room and sitting down to eat.

Some people grow up with dreams of being a doctor or traveling the world, but I want to be my Nana and Papa.

Everyone applauded and my grandparents thanked me then and again later, and even again the next day over the phone, and I'm glad that I said the things that I said. I will never have that moment again, and I believe that I used it wisely.

Later on, while people were slowly making their way to their cars and then homes, I was sitting with my Nana and I asked her: "So, what's the secret, Nana?"

She responded, without questioning what exactly I was talking about (though I know it's obvious): "To learn to close your eyes and turn your head when you see something you don't like."



MAY 20, 2007 | 6:27pm
So, it's official. I'm going to college. My first day was on Wednesday.

I have two online classes, and two regular classes. I'm extremely excited and ready to get working. Ha, I say that when I should be doing homework, but actually I've been editing images and uploading them to myspace. At least I did get some people to proof read my first short paper on yahoo answers.

It's so weird, in school I never really cared about grades at all, I just did the work because it was something you "have" to do. Now, you have the option, do it or don't do it. Go to class, or don't go to class. And now, I want to become that honor student, I'm craving for that A, I want to work and read and write. How funny age is.

I guess it's a good thing that I waited to go to school. Would I have this same hunger for knowledge if I was 18 or 19? Or would college just seem like another one of those things you "have" to do? I think the latter.

All in all, my experience has been wonderful. Yes, I am going to a community college, but my classes are in a brand new building with amazing computer labs. I get into conversations with random instructors and staff and they seem genuinely interested in me as a person and student, even if I'm not in their class or even field. I was standing in line at the cashier's office, and I noticed a huge variety of people there: mothers with their toddlers, young teens, middle-aged women, and graying men.

And I realized, this is the place I want to be. I want to be in a place where there are these varieties of people, of all races and ages, all walks of life. People who already HAVE lives, jobs, and families and still say "I want to enrich my life." I'd rather see children running up and down the aisles than listen to the deep conversations of 19-year-old-girls and their chipping nail polish. I'd rather be in the mix than amongst clones.

I don't know, for some reason I sometimes feel like I'm setting my expectations low? That my degree I'm trying to achieve might not be enough. But I think that's just me trying to look from someone else's point of view. From my own, I'm proud of myself for taking this huge step in my life. I'm excited to learn more and prove that I can do this and anything life throws at me. I have an extra spring in my step to match my new found self-confidence, and I feel like the sun is shining and the world is suddenly opening it's doors and is waiting for me.

I'm ready and I want to learn.


APRIL 19, 2007 | 7:16pm
I am so utterly and extremely mad right now. I'm completely in hate with our media.

So, obviously if you watch the news, you have seen the videos and pictures of the gunman from VT. They are utterly disgusting and revolting, and completely tasteless. Tasteless on NBC's behalf.

I cannot believe that any network would air those photos and videos for the public to see, that is completely mind boggling to me! This boy sends a package to the media to try and get it put on the air and make himself famous. He wants to become a name that is forever remembered, and say he is killing in the name of the loners like him.

And what does NBC do? Discretely give the information to the FBI and announce they received it, but refuse to showcase these violent and disgusting images? No. They show them, then all the other networks show them. So now, we have a revolving slideshow of pictures of him holding guns as if he's acting out some sort of movie scene. Posing with knives and dressing up and down for the camera.

Who wants to take bets on how long it will be until there is a copycat? I say a month. Thanks NBC! Thank you for glorifying him exactly how he wanted. Thank you for making a sick role model for all those others out there that don't understand the concept of life. I don't mean that in a killing way, but in the way that life is full of ups and downs. Sometimes the downs last for years, and vice versa. Sometimes we need medication, sometimes we just need a friend. People who don't understand this are the people who look at these angry rants about rich kids having the blood on their hands now, and saying "Amen! I totally agree!"

Thank you for further disrespecting our culture and our media. Thank you for slapping the parents and families of the victims in the face just to get some extra viewers and your name thrown out there. Good job, well played.

And PS- I fucking hate Nancy Grace. I hate hate hate that bitch. What a stupid idiot to have her own show, and what ridiculous, moronic questions she asks. Really, try and watch her show for more than 10 minutes sometime. "We see that he took all these videos himself... did you ever notice that he was a teckie?" WHAT? HE PUSHED AN "ON" BUTTON BITCH AND PUT THE CAMERA DOWN. She's seriously semi-retarded, and sadly enough, this entire tragedy is like a wet dream to her.

UGH. I don't understand how other people cannot be as upset about this. I actually heard one of my fellow coworkers say "Ugh, I'm so sick of this bullshit on the TV. They need to stop reporting about it. I'm sick of hearing about it already." That was yesterday, at about 4. About 24 hours after the mass of the media started reporting. This isn't the fucking Anna Nicole Smith baby debacle, it's a national tragedy.


APRIL 17, 2007 | 9:21am
What a horrible thing to happen. Not just the most deadliest school shooting, but the most deadliest shooting in the US, period. It's so sad when others take lives because they feel that they themselves cannot deal with life. There is no point proven, there is nothing gained, and you have made people curse your name instead of mourning for their loss of a son, brother, friend.

I'm so fucking sick of everyone trying to find a scapegoat for this entire ordeal. "Why didn't they cancel classes?" Because the police thought it was an isolated incident. They were still unsure if the gunman had even left the building yet. Plus, the first shooting happened before classes even began. Am I saying that shutting down the campus would have been a good idea? Of course. Would it have stopped someone who planned on killing more than two dozen people? NO.

No, he would have killed more people, regardless if classes were canceled or still in session. The police did and are doing the best job they can do, and that's coming from ME. There is nothing the campus or the police or even teachers could have done to prevent more deaths.

You know what could have helped? GUN CONTROL. But no, we as Americans are too proud to own objects that are capable of death, we won't admit that. We want to have the power of god in our hands. "Oh, but how will we protect ourselves with no guns?"

Are you serious? Having a gun in your home is more likely to do more damage to the innocent people there IN your home than to hurt an intruder. If we had better gun control, this boy (I use the term boy) wouldn't have been so quick to pick up a gun.

Think about it: If you wanted to, could you yourself do the same thing? Oh, but we have all those forms to fill out and a waiting process! If you were mad at someone enough to kill them and everyone who is associated with them, you can wait for a gun.

And you don't even have to do that. You can simply walk into one of your friend or family member's home and take theirs. Everyone knows someone who has a gun.

So people, stop saying "Who is capable of doing anything like this?" because if you want to get technical, anyone who is physically able to pull a trigger is capable. All they need is something to push them over the edge, and in a society as high-strung and pressuring as ours, that can be easily done for any one person.


APRIL 14, 2007 | 10:25pm

I haven't really picked up a camera in a long time, but I did for Rachael and Liz. These are two girls I work with who are great friends and also roommates. They are both full of extreme personality and flare!

Anyway, I'm really happy how these turned out. This is only the second time I've taken pictures outside of my family, so I was nervous, but now afterwards... I'm so happy! Just to finally pick up a camera again, I can't explain it.

Anyway, even better, Liz and Rachael were absolutely thrilled, which in turn makes me happy to make someone feel so great about themselves. In return, they are showering me with compliments (which I'm taking and storing!).

Photos in here...Collapse )


APRIL 5, 2007 | 1:31am

Today I spent most of the day on the phone with my sister. I had a doctor's appointment right in the middle of the day (ugh) which included them drawing blood and all sorts of not-fun stuff.

Anyway, not the point. The point is: My sister and I are weird.

While on the phone, I told her I was waiting in line at the drive-thru at Arby's for a Jamocha Shake (yes, that is a proper noun!). On that note, she dropped everything she was doing, went and got in her car and drove to Arby's for the same. By the time I actually got my shake, she was already paying for hers, and this is the conversation that followed:

Page: Did you get your shake?
Miranda: Yes.
Miranda: Why not? I waited so long for it.
Page: Becaaaause! We can drink it at the same time when I get mine!
Miranda: Awww.
Page: It's like, when two people are far apart, and they look up at the moon and stars, and even though they aren't together, they are looking at the same thing...
Miranda: ... except it's a Jamocha Shake.
Page: Yeah, except it's a shake.
Miranda: All right.

That is how weird we are. And now I feel like singing that song, "Soooomewhere, out there... beneath the clear blue skyyyy...." Am I a dork? Yes, yes I am.

Later I got this picture message:

Julia always looks like some kind of baby thug. Like she's staring you down, challenging you to take the Jamocha Shake back, bitch.


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